Hi Reader Welcome back,

I hope you don't think I overlooked sending my March letter. To put it simply, I had a busy March schedule. You see, I write my letters in real time because I want them to be authentic and reflect actual experiences as life unfolds.

My February letter exposed how I feel I am unshakable.

Were you able to take time to evaluate how grounded (unshakable) you are? If not, after you read this month's letter visit the monthly letter archives to review last months letter and assess your progress.

Hope you are ready for this months letter. I am truly excited about this letter because it involves bringing you ideas, tips, resources, and so much more.

​

Letter #12

Today's letter is about the Setting Boundaries - Benefits vs Repercussion. Yes you read correctly, the reality is that even though boundaries are a benefit, they can be difficult to achieve and can lead to various repercussions. So how can you set boundaries and be prepared for the repercussions? Let me share a story with you.

As a child, I was a shy and introverted girl. When I transitioned into adulthood, I became a "yes" person. Which meant that I struggled saying NO. And there is nothing wrong with being a "yes" person, if you have boundaries to protect you from being sucked into other peoples expectations of who they want you to be. I did not set strong boundaries to protect me. I became a people pleaser and felt like I wasn't able to control or protect my personal space.

After years of not knowing how to set boundaries, I was feeling frustrated, stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, and filled with resentment. I also felt that others were taking advantage of my time, knowledge, energy, and my kindness. I knew something needed to change, but did not know what or how. Through all of this my faith was strong, but I asked God to bring clarity as to what my personal space looked like, who I would allow into that space, and how I could protect it.

My turning point was when I felt lifeless and without a life jacket. I realized that I was giving so much of myself (and my energy) without receiving buckets of energy to replenish me.

It was time for me to fully understand the concept of setting boundaries so I could take complete control of my personal space, time and life. The first thing that became clear was that if I wanted to be in control of my outcomes, I would have to make difficult decisions and set appropriate boundaries.

JV Quote

By failing to set boundaries, you are giving someone the authority to decide what to do with your personal space, however they see fit, without your consent. Jacqueline Vazquez

​

Boundaries defined.

• Boundaries: A line that marks the limits of an area.
• Setting Boundaries: Establishing and communicating limits that define what behaviors, interactions, and levels of involvement are acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship or situation. It clarifies personal needs and expectations, ensuring healthy relationships while maintaining one's well-being.

Sample results of setting boundaries.

• Redefining Self-Respect: As you understand your needs and limits, you will start gaining more self-respect for yourself, your time and energy.
• Personal Growth - This is one of my favorites, personal growth. When you set aside time to learn and grow, people who truly care about you will notice your personal development.
• Setting Clear Expectations - This is a big one because setting boundaries with clear expectations can be difficult, but once achieve you minimize any misunderstanding.
• Fostering Healthy Relationships - One of the primary goals of establishing boundaries is to promote healthy relationships, which involve mutual respect, understanding, and a means of establishing genuine, long term relationships.
• Reduced Stress - Everyone knows that stress can cloud our thoughts and actions, which is why setting boundaries can prevent you from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. It gives you a sense of peace, calmness, mindfulness and control.

​

Sample repercussions related to setting boundaries.

• Separation - This to me is one of the most difficult because it may involve breaking ties with some of the closest people in your circles, including your family.
• Resistance - The people who do not respect your personal space are the ones who will be resisting your growth the most. They will feel limited as though you are punishing them.
• Feeling Strange and Conflicted - Overall the repercussions bring forth some uneasiness as you see peoples true colors when you start setting boundaries and putting your values first. This whole process may feel challenging or even awkward at times, but if you stick to it, you will see the outcome will be worth it. If you are the type of person who looks to be liked by everyone, you will definitely feel conflicted, but it doesn't mean you can succeed.

What will you GAIN from setting boundaries?

• Breath of fresh air. You will definitely breath much easier.
• Clarity. Having clarity will open the paths to the possibilities ahead, enhancing your personal growth.
• Clear communications. When you set boundaries you are able to have better conversations with expectations.
• A lot more "Self" Time. This includes: self-respect, self-care, self-love, etc.
• You feel comfortable in saying NO when needed.

So what is the take away from this letter? Only you are in control of your boundaries. Taking the first step will be hard, but it's so worth it. I do not want you to think that I woke up one day and said, "I will work on setting boundaries today, and it will automatically work immediately." It definitely takes time and for me it took most of my lifetime to figure it out. I can honestly say that within the last 5 - 6 years I have felt in control of my boundaries. Like I said, it took years but it was so well worth it. I feel in full control and I am ok if others don't understand or if they are no longer in my life because they no longer have control over my energy, time and personal space. My purpose is to live my life the way God has defined for me, not the way others think I should live it.

​

Find some time between now the next letter to analyze where you are at with regards to setting boundaries and owning your boundaries 100%. Take this boundaries test by Psychology Today, and see where you show up on the list. It just gives you an idea. If you feel that you are really struggling with this, feel free to reach out to me, and if I can assist I will. If I can't I can definitely direct you to some amazing partners who can assist you.

I leave you with this short video of me sharing my thoughts on boundaries.

​

​

Before I close my letter, I would like to share why I am grateful at this very moment. I am grateful for you. I appreciate your continuous support as I share my monthly letters with you. I deeply appreciate the feedback I receive from my readers, whether in person, through email replies, or via messages on social media to share how my letters have touched you or made a positive impact on your day. Thank you again for welcoming me into your space at least once a month.

​

Until next month. Click on the photo to tune in to my Inspired by Jacqueline Podcast.​

P.S. While I will not be back until next month, we can meet every week on my podcast or follow my journey via my Instagram's on @JV_NextLevel @LEBJV ​@ClassyJV ​@InspiredbyJacqueline​

P.S.S. Letter Archives: If you have missed the other letters, here's a cool feature I have created for you. The ARCHIVES https://www.catalystbridgeagency.com/monthly-letter-archive​

​

Video Credit: M & M. Photo Memories

​

Love, Hugs, and Kisses. xoxo

Jacqueline